Dear Debra Barone,

You are stil not a good person. You are still, in fact, what I would call a bad person.

You may have thought your letter would scare me, but I am not your husband, Ray. Or your brother-in-law, Robert. Or your brother-in-law's wife, Amy. See, those are three people who would sleep easier knowing you were locked up. That is not something to be proud of.

I must, however, give you credit for consistency. In my initial letter to you, I asked you to consider changing your acidic demeanor and at least attempt to get a job or to please go off the air at the end of this season. I see you have chosen the latter. Are you that lazy? Are you that evil? Your actions scream "YES, RAY!"

With just three installments of your husband's show remaining, you have one -- or rather, three -- last chance(s) to change your image before you go down in television history as "100% Evil." Doesn't "95% Evil, 5% Decent Human Being" have a better ring to it?

As to your assertion that you could buy fifteen good people with your ill-gotten wealth... I don't believe it. You don't have that much money. Sure, you're syndicated now, but you're talking about purchasing people. That's quite a bit of money, especially for someone of your demeanor. Perhaps if you were a nicer person the PPP (per-person price) would be lower, but attitude inflation has put others beyond your reach. Who do you think you are, Martha Stewart? She could buy fifteen good people and is only marginally meaner than you.

For shame, Debra. Martha Stewart is only marginally meaner than you. That puts you just two steps away from Dick Cheney!

Shape up,

--oZ

   
This is your future, CAT STRANGLER!

Today is "Thumb Across the Galaxy" Day! Beware of falling whales.