Lots of people blog about their jobs, so I decided to join in the fun despite having a home office and working remotely. Sure, I miss out on department outings, but there is one advantage: I have a corner office.

And just because I'm remote doesn't mean that I don't have co-workers. These are the folks I interact with, also known as the cast of characters:

• Pancho Villa, Registered Nurse Trainee: 60% trainee, 35% nurse, 5% registered. Oh, and 100% cat.
• Leviathan Placo, Administrator: What exactly does he administer? Pretty much anything a freshwater fish (like he is) can.
• Mojo Gund, Corporate Relations: Relentlessly optimistic, he makes the office brighter. He also happens to be a stuffed monkey.
• Platty Magma, R Partner: He used to be the HR Partner, but then the H was removed because Platty himself isn't an H. He's an FF (freshwater fish).
• OZ, Code Monkey: A programmer who wears slippers shaped like Homer Simpson's head to work everyday. This is me. Despite my title, and not intending any offense to Mojo, I am a human being.

In the interest of contributing to the local community, we had a blood drive today. We're not a large office, but as the slogan says, "Every little bit helps."

I was surprised when I walked into the donation area to find that Pancho Villa was the attending nurse. Apparently, Pancho is taking night classes in the nursing arts. Good for him! Y'see, part of his class requirements was to run a blood drive, so he sent out an email last week proposing this event. I just thought he was being philanthropic; I had no idea he would personally convert the "conference room" (aka, the guest room) into a blood center and handle the donations himself.

So there I was, ready to give blood, when Pancho came in bearing a small tube and a jar. "Where's the needle?" I asked.

"I have some right here," he said, flexing his fingers and revealing his claws.

Hell no.

At that point, Mojo walked in with the ever-present smile on his face and reminded me that this was a great local PR for the company. I didn't care. I've seen Pancho distracted by feathers and scrunchies, so my confidence in his blood-letting abilities was low. Mojo persisted, as did I. Then things turned ugly.

Mojo walked out of the room, happily skipping on his knuckles. He must have called in the big guns, because not one minute later, Leviathan and Platty came in. Leviathan started rattling off some regulations that Pancho had apparently followed and that technically qualified him to draw blood. I still wasn't biting. Besides, Pancho was now staring out the window at passing delivery trucks. You need a wee bit more focus that than, Dr. Villa!

Okay, Pancho never actually claimed to be a full-fledged doctor. Never the less, I was done with the whole affair. I started to walk back to my corner office when I heard someone clear his throat.

Platty, our resident R Partner, was shaking his head and holding a folded up pink slip of paper. "You signed up for this, and we've already pledged three units of your blood type to the blood bank. You're the only one who can provide it, and the only way I can tell the blood bank that we fell short is if the office suddenly didn't have an employee matching your blood type."

"Why does it have to be me?" I asked. "What's so special about my blood type?"

"It's human," Platty said, placing the slip in his coat pocket and walking out of the donation area. He closed the door behind him.

It's been eight hours since that ordeal, and I've finally regained the feeling in my left forearm after Pancho's botched punctures.

World's Friendliest Vampire

Today is "One Month Later" Day! I moved to Steeltown one month ago today.