Lots of people blog about their jobs, so I decided to join in the fun despite having a home office and working remotely. Sure, I miss out on department outings, but there is one advantage: I have a corner office.

And just because I'm remote doesn't mean that I don't have co-workers. These are the folks I interact with, also known as the cast of characters:

• Pancho Villa, Corporate Climate Liaison: The company has tasked him with lifting the spirits of those around him. It's a cushy job, which is good because he's a cat and requires 20 hours of sleep a day.
• Leviathan Placo, Boss Man: He's not really the boss, but he does have some managerial responsibilities. He's also not really a man, but he is a large freshwater fish.
• Mojo Gund, PR Rep: He claims that "PR" stands for Public Relations. I know the truth. It's actually for "PRimate," because he's a stuffed monkey.
• That-Blonde-In-Accounting, not sure: I don't know her name or what her title is, but she just had quadruplets. I know that much because I kicked in for a gift. The office bought her fry formula because she's a yellow fish.
• OZ, Compu-Dork: Sits in front of a computer all day and enjoys it. This is me. I'm a dork, and I'm also a human being.

The holiday season is nigh, and most folks are taking off most or all of next week to enjoy a few days at home. In preparation for this lull in productivity, offices across Corporate America have been having their holiday parties all week. Well, I didn't want to miss out on a party, so those of us here in the local branch are having our own fiesta today. I'm going to blog the highlights as they happen.

10:00am: The festivities begin! I just put out my potluck dish, a steak omelette made from last night's leftovers. No one looks very impressed, but it's definitely better than Pancho's "Kibble Surprise" or Leviathan's box of Cheez-Its. I'm a shoe-in to win the trophy.

10:49am: Mojo got into the rum nog early. He's stumbling around a bit and trying to impress us with his acrobatics and two pairs of opposable thumbs. He's jumping and flipping and swinging from everything he can get his hands and feet on. It's rather interesting to watch, but he's had a couple of close calls already. But Pancho keeps egging him on. Well, I just excused myself because I don't want to see any monkey carnage.

11:21am: Crap. Most of the omelette is still there, but the box of Cheez-Its is almost empty. I'm getting worried.

11:31am: The results were just announced. Leviathan won, so now he'll have that old golf trophy in his office all of next year. I think it's the inimidation factor. No one respects the compu-dork. That's fine, I'll drown my sorrows in rum nog.

As a consolation, however, I noticed that no one but Pancho tasted his "Kibble Surprise." I think the surprise was that it wasn't meant for anyone but Pancho. Shrewd, Mr. Villa. Very shrewd indeed.

12:05pm: Wow! I just opened the supply closet to get a Sharpie (in case someone passes out) and there was That-Blonde-In-Accounting making out with one of the Corydoras brothers. I couldn't tell which one it was, but it was definitely not Mr. That-Blonde-In-Accounting. And she just came back from maternity leave! For shame, Corydoras brother. For shame indeed.

12:45pm-ish: HOly crap that nog is tsrong! YUM!

about 1:30pm: I've lost my watch. What itme is it? I know there's a clokc on this computer somewhere. Wait, you know what? I bet Pancho's playing a prank on me. That's fine, I'm going to prank him back.

3 minutes later: Damn, that "Kibble Surprise" tastes like absolute garbage! GAR-BAGE! Wow, that was a sobering experience, partly because it caused a nog-purge. --You think it's gross reading about it? Try doing it.

3:00pm or so: Well, the party's over. Mojo tried that triple Lindey from Back to School. "If Dangerfield can do it, so can I," he said. Then he went for it.

CRASH!

Leviathan's taking Mojo to the ER. He thinks Mojo might have broken his arm in the fall.

I'm going to stick around for a bit and clean up. Then I'm taking my leftover leftover-steak omelette and making something else out of it for dinner. I'll be enjoying thrice-cooked steak while Leviathan's nursing a drunken Mojo. Who's the real winner now?

Happy Holidays, from my office to yours.

Today is "Vacation" Day! Take a ride on the West Coast kick.