When I started this blog, I thought that having a medium to write about interesting things would cause me to do more interesting things. I can only make up so much stuff, so occasionally I'd need actual experience as source material.

Little did I know how interesting things would get.

So nary a month later, I find myself with about eight months worth of oncoming material. Y'see, we (my wife and I) discovered in the last couple of weeks that we're pregnant! Well, not so much "we" as "she," but I'll include myself anyway. I don't have to deal firsthand with morning sickness or have insane cravings, but I do have to make the midnight runs for caramel and snow peas. Do you know how uncomfortable it is to be in the grocery store's checkout lane with bed head and miscellaneous canned vegetables? Nothing my wife will go through will be that uncomfortable.

Ha! Gotta love pregnancy humor... unless you are or have ever been pregnant.

So what now? First, my wife will now be referred to on (and off) this blog as "The Host." Biologically, that little guy/gal has a parasitic relationship to its future mother -- and that's my parasite, so I can compare it to whatever I want. It lives inside of and feeds from its host, The Host, without any biologically positive effects. Before I get some nasty emails, notice the bold biologically. Yes, emotionally there are wonderfully positive benefits, but biologically there aren't. Morning sickness, grapefruit-sized ankles, and a healthy waddle in the third trimester -- QED.

Despite the analogy, I'll now refer to that little guy/gal as "The Heir" (as opposed to the "The Parasite"). I'm not quite sure what it's the heir to, besides a blog read by three people (hello, #3!), a surround sound system, and a bookcase full of sci-fi books. But being the heir to effectively nothing has its advantages... to me. Remember at the beginning of Gladiator when the emperor's son killed the emperor so he (the son) could ascend to the throne? Well, the only throne in my kingdom is made of porcelain, which coincidentally is where three-quarters of that bookcase was read, and occupying it after I'm done isn't exactly recommended.

Old enough to have a baby: yes. Old enough to stop using toilet humor: never!

Finally, this does not mean that this is going to be a pregnancy/baby/parenting/pottery blog. My interest in finding a dozen pregnancy-related articles every day is about 0.01% higher than yours is right now, so we're both safe on that front. Sure, I'll post some pregnancy-related updates here, but true to the nature of the blog, expect said updates with a grain (or acre) of humor. And of course, there will be plenty non-prego stuff that I simply make up.

Oops, almost forgot: The Heir is due at the end of October. Exciting times!