For those that celebrated Memorial Day, I hope you had a nice one. And by "for those that celebrated" I mean those of you that had Monday off and ate way too much barbecue. In fact, I've been half memorial-celebrating these past few days thanks to all of our leftovers. Who knew that seven people wouldn't be able to eat 14 hotdogs (w/ 16 buns), 10 hamburgers (w/ 16 buns), six chicken kabobs, two pounds of boneless ribs, a Volkswagen full of potato salad, enough tortilla chips to fill Lake Erie, and a cheese plate featuring literally every type of cheese ever available anywhere? Oh, and a million cherries.

My wife made that super-sized super-menu. She may be eating for two now, but apparently she thinks the rest of us are eating for 17. So for the Fourth of July, she's banned from the grocery store. Otherwise, I have a feeling I'd come home to find three live cows grazing on my front lawn and my backyard fenced off and filled with pigs and chickens. "Fire up the grill, dear. We have three people coming over later!"

But at least that barbecue was on Sunday so I had all of Monday to digest, then ingest more leftovers, then digest again. Oh, and see the new Indiana Jones movie. It's pretty good, go see it. Tell the movie theater employees that I sent you. They'll pretend they don't know who you're talking about, but that's because you have to use the secret passphrase. Say "two for Indy," and instead of a bus ride to Indianapolis, you'll gain access to a screening room showing the fourth adventure of Han Solo in his pre-Millenium Falcon career. Keep that on the down-low, though. That passphrase is just for you, dear readers. Exclusive access! Take that, "Entertainment Tonight!"